I wish I could see myself through other people's eyes. Generally when I play this game it backfires. I imagine other people seeing me through essentially my eyes; that is, hyper-critically and with all my distorted values and assumptions. It never ceases to amaze me that when people are looking at me, they see something all-together different, even good. Its a shock to the system that mixes relief with sadness and then fades into the background and I slide back into negative perceptual habits.
Its not something I can make happen, but if I just let it, running is a reprieve from all this. I look forward to (and keep my fingers crossed) my joints catching up with my lungs and muscles so that I might be able to take advantage of this other perspective more often.
4 hours ago