Tuesday, April 26, 2011

freak out

I should be on the trainer right now. I have one of those unusual mornings where I actually have the time to get in a 2 hour workout and didn't have to get up til 6. I don't have to be at work til noon (if I do 3 hours of work at home). And yet I'm not on the trainer yet. I was looking forward to this workout. 70 minute ride, 50 minute run. I love this workout. I'm sitting at the computer.

On Sunday I was finally ready to drop the cash to register for my first A race (of 2) of the season, the Patriot Half Ironman. I got to the website and it was SOLD OUT! There was a waitlist which I gladly paid $1 (plus $3.25 in processing fees) to get on. But I have little hope that I will make it off the waitlist. And now I can't sleep. 2 nights in a row. I feel totally turned around. I have been training for the Patriot. I want to race the Patriot. I have been thinking about the Patriot. Everything feels all wrapped up in this race. This race that I felt I could be ready for. Last year I sort of blew my load jumping straight from 1 Oly into HIM distance. This year I was stoked to feel ready. My endurance is there. I did a combo workout 10 days ago with 2200yds swimming, 56 mile ride, and 10.5 mile run. I felt awesome after. I was exactly where I wanted to be. Now I don't know where I am.

I don't want to race in July/August at HIM distance, its too hot. I overheat too easily. Yet Ironman Rhode Island (70.3) is the nearest and closest (date) race. But I don't know the course (they're changing it). Rev3 Quassy sounds amazing but I looked at the bike map and I just don't feel like I could handle the hills. (Read: I'm afraid). I feel like I keep looking for courses that I think I am ready for and there are so few. Tinman (Tupper Lake, NY) looks good but its 5 1/2 hours from my house and its the weekend of my last week of work, tough timing. I'd have to convince my husband or mother to drive with me and its a lot to ask.

I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out. This sucks.

[Thanks to those who already responded. I appreciate everyone who does swing by my blog and give me feedback. I think acknowledging that I shy away from hills was important. I spent my workout fantasizing about Quassy...so there is a 4 mile hill with 600ft elevation gain...so my time may be a little slower...sooo?]


  1. That sucks! I say roll with it though and go for RI or Quassy. Don't be afraid of the hills. They may be a challenge, but that is what this sport is all about.

    Last year, one of my HIMs was (and still is) this hilliest course I have ever ridden. Going into the race, I was rating it as a B/C race because I was unsure of the hills. Even though the hills did slow me (as well as everyone else) down and I didn't PR, I had an amazing race. It was a huge confidence boost to just finish it and it is now my most memorable race from last year. My time on that course, while not my fastest, means more to me than my PR.

    Now go turn this nervous/freaking out energy into a positive and go rock your workout!

    BTW - There is a great inaugural HIM in Grand Rapids this year (June 4th), but that is probably even further than Tupper Lake :)

  2. Bummer! How about Mooseman? It is on JUne 6th, and still open. And you are ready! Your training is going awesome.

    Oh, and I read your blog and wish you would post more about your training. You are inspiring me and motivating me with everything you do:)

  3. Bummer!!!

    Mooseman is super hilly like Quassy. I hear Tupper Lake is a great race!

  4. Is your bike properly geared for the hills? A trip to the bike shop might change everything!

  5. I'm pretty much clueless on gearing. But I went and asked advice at the LBS after an awful race where the venue was changed (to a freaking mountain pass) at the last minute. They gave me a setup that WOULD have really helped, had I done it in time, and makes me no longer terrified of hills. Good luck. :)

  6. i read too! i think you'd be surprised how many people lurk/semi-lurk. i'm sure i have more readers than i think i have. or maybe i just like to think that ;)

    i'm sorry about the sold out race. i'm not familiar with tri races though so i'm afraid i can't be of much help!

    i know awhile back i had a "rachel" comment and request a sticker i was giving away - i don't think that was you because i had no way of tracing the comment (to a blogger profile or anything) so i'm hoping it wasn't you since i never mailed it. if it was... sorry! and just let me know, i can still mail a sticker. :)

  7. OOOOOOOhhhhh man! That is the worst! I think that's why I always sign up right away for races... but that also comes back to bite me in the ass when I say, get a stress fracture... Ugh.

    Hopefully you'll still get in and in the meantime just try to relax and focus on getting in quality workouts so you are prepared in the event you get in. Are there any sprints or oly's around that time you could race leading up to it?