Thursday, December 30, 2010
quick and dirty - a demoralization post before work
Today was the day I was going to risk it on a run. The run is the problem. I knew it would be the problem. When I run my HR goes to 170-180 really easily and will stay there for a long time (an entire run)? People are telling me I need to run and walk until I can keep it sub 140. I don't even think I can stroll casually with my HR below 140. This puts me in a bind. But I 'm a scientist so I tested it out. Lo and behold, I can't even shuffle with my heartrate below 148 and at an 11:34 overall pace for a run/walk in which I hardly broke a sweat my average HR was 159. I am hydrated. I have no caffeine in my system. THIS SUCKS. I get into this mind game like "how is this possible? i can run an hour at an 8:15 pace (today, if I wanted to). I've run 2 HMs at an 8:35 pace and my half marathon off the bike at FirmMan in under 2:00. Why can't I even shuffle with a normal heart rate?" It makes me kind of panicky about my heart. It makes me question my abilities and my potential as an athlete. It makes me feel abandoned and screwed over by my body. And I don't know how to fix it.